It's like you're out of sync with every single person on this planet. - Mary first begins to notice something strange about Dick.
Never date a man who isn't good to his wife and kids - Mrs Dubcek gives sound womanly advice to Sally.
Why would a man in his seventies want to date a woman in her twenties? - More advice for Sally - this time from Tommy, the veteran of the mission - in the episode where Sally has a fling with Dr Albright's WWII veteran dad.
Sally, you must learn to cook. How far do you think you are going to get with a fabulous body and the intellect of a genius? - brotherly advice this time, from Dick.
Nothing says 'I love you' like than having sex with a stranger the night before you're suppose to do it with your girlfriend for the very first time on Valentine's Day. - Harry on receiving the news that Tommy has lost his virginity.
If you're feeling uncomfortable, you should take off your pants - Sally to a (male) co-worker who has accused her of sexual harrassment.
Look at me, I'm human ... "Can I have cheese on that?" - Harry's alien perspective on how silly human behaviour can appear to outsiders.
I love Bolivian men. They're like Honduran men without the attitude. - Judith demonstrates that she's much more complex than her 'sensible shoes' image would suggest.
We didn't build the pyramids, we killed the dinosaurs! - Tommy (the Information Officer) clarifies that historical mystery.
I can kill the spider Sally, I've been practising with grapes. - Harry shows that he's more than just a pretty face.
Mary: When men have grey hair they look distinguished; when women have grey hair they just look old.
Dick: When women have boobs they look distinguished; when men have boobs they just look old.
Here's a job I could apply for: 'Police seek third gunman.' Well, tomorrow I'm gonna march straight in and tell them that I'm their man! - Harry, he's the man alright.
When I look at you I do not see colour. I see a big flaming jackass. - Nina gives Dick a lesson on racial prejudice.
I want this station to be about families ... and violence, ... and as much sex as we can get away with. - Alternate Universe Harry in his role as NBC TV executive.
Mrs Dubcek: You know what they say: "Under every great man lies a great woman."
Officer Don: Don't you mean 'behind'?
Mrs Dubcek: Ohhh, you're dirty!
There was a time I considered being the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. But in a situation like that you really have to ask yourself: Have I been offered this job? - More wishful thinking from Harry.
People don't do this. People don't look at other people's psychological files to get gift ideas! - Mary on discovering that Dick is seeing her therapist.
Here's a piece of advice: Gum can double adhesive but most adhesives do not necessarily double as gum. - Harry (is there anything he doesn't know)
Wrong, Wrong, Wrong! How can paint that tastes this good, look so bad? - More from Harry (is there anything he won't put in his mouth)
He, or she (yeah, right) is chosen on the basis of how physically attractive they are and their definition of the world adultery. Oh, and it doesn't hurt to know Barbra Streisand - Dick, explaining how the US president is selected.
Visitor: Excuse me, we've been driving around for hours. Do you know of any hotels that have rooms?
Harry: I believe that all hotels have rooms.
Harry: Dick, when life gives you lemons, shut up and eat the damn lemons.
And Finally:
I think there's something wrong with Dick - Mary (and it only took her six years!)
